Did Ya Hear About…..?

Confronting & Dealing With Gossip- Eph. 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

What is gossip?
 Random House College Dictionary: "Idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others."
 Whatever the dictionary says, we know Gossip is talk about a person (true or not!) showing them in a less than positive light!

Society today really doesn’t see gossip in the light of what it really is—slander!
 Seems like a small sin when compared to others (stealing, greed, envy, fighting)
 What if we understood it better?
 Not such a small sin to God (Rom. 1: 28-32)…ouch….hard words from Paul
 God lumps those other “bad” sins with the sin of gossip & slander
 Hebrew word for "slander" simply means "bad report."

 Illust. (from the net) Only difference between "gossip" & "slander" is one of degrees. Suppose you wanted to kill someone- more than one way to do it. Take a shotgun, walk right up to their face, announce that you're going to shoot them, and then blow them away- that's slander. Or, you could take a rifle with a scope. Attach a silencer to it, hide yourself a safe distance away, kill them from long-distance- never know what hit them- that's gossip.

 Can gossip be okay?
• What is purpose of gossip? (talk behind back)
• Creates trivial talk about someone that is generally false or exaggerated
• There are times when truth about others, however harsh, must be shared with third parties.
a. Those times are few and far between.
b. Need to exercise great care in talking to someone else about a person who is not present.

 Anne Landers, in her column "Gem of the Day" notes that; "People of high intelligence talk about ideas. People of average intelligence talk about things. People of no intelligence talk about other people.
 Where are you in the lineup?"

 Many times the root of gossip & slander is jealousy and/or insecurity
 Like girls in EDGE video clip, we can sometimes let our jealousy fuel the fires of gossip
 How can we combat this?
 If you can't say something good about someone, say nothing (Rom. 12:10)

 Keep private matters private (Prov. 11:13; 25:9-10)

 Watch out for places & situations where gossip is likely to happen. (Friends ... family dinner table ... Life-Support Groups where you're "sharing concerns" ... group after church in home/restaurant)
(taken from Cross Training Sr. High Volume 1- Unruly Emotions)

 When you hear it, do not allow gossip to go unchallenged (Various approaches)
1. Constructive: "Now, how can we help this person?"
2. Subtle: Smile sweetly & say, "I'm feeling very uncomfortable with this conversation."
3. Matt. 18:15: "Have you gone to speak with this person privately?"
4. Concerned: "If ____ knew we were talking about them like this they'd be real hurt!"

When talking about others, always ask yourself the question, "Am I gossiping?"
1. Talking about ways to help this person ... or just talking?
2. Is this person being lifted up or torn down?
3. Would I be comfortable if this person were to walk in on our conversation? Would I stop talking? (Chinese proverb: "Speak only well of people and you need never whisper.")

 In conclusion, ask yourself; “Self…am I a gossip?”
 Proverbs 18:21 doesn’t skirt around the issue of gossip; “The tongue has the power of life and death…” If unsure about gossip…You are a Gossip if you are any of these three things;

1. You’re a secret leaker…not a confidence keeper! (Prov. 11:13)
 Betrayal is not part of a Christian’s lifestyle…when we gossip we let down the person we talk about, the hearer, and God…we are to be people of integrity

2. You’re a quarrel fueler…not a fire fighter! (Prov. 26:20)
 Gossips keeps the fires burning and spreading….people take sides, and spreads like wildfire

3. You’re a friend separator…not a peace-maker! (Prov. 17:9)
 Does not promote unity within the body…hurts & separates
(taken from Slammin’ Sermons- Cross Training Series, 1998)

 As Christians we must constantly choose to minister life & healing with our words…not easy to do, but we have help (Holy Spirit).
 Children’s rhyme…sticks & stones…words cannot hurt?
 Words leave scars emotionally that last much longer than mere physical wounds
 Tongue has the power to bring life or death…which will you choose?

Closing Prayer
 Bible says that if we bring an offering to God, yet have unresolved differences with another-leave offering and go make things right (Matt. 5:23-24)
 (Amazing Love)- prayer for those that have not accepted Jesus…those who need forgiveness for gossip & slander
 Phil. 1:27



Scripture Index

Romans 1: 28-32
Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

Proverbs 25: 9-10
If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man's confidence, or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation.

Matthew 18:15
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

Proverbs 26:20
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.

Proverbs 17:9
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

Matthew 5:23-24
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Philippians 1:27
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel.